The rest of the story....

I shared in an earlier post that we were feeling intense stress and definitely burned out..... I want to fill you in on the rest of the story.
The past six months have been an absolute roller coaster ride for us.... from the death of my mom to moving into a new house - Christian started his new job as field director and the kids started a new school. Mix into that the craziness of living in a foreign country - where you do not have the support structure you have in your home culture - and sprinkle with the kids being sick for over a month and the owners ripping up the floors in our home to put down tile and you have a recipe for burnout. Actually, Christian relates more to term stress - and I relate more to the term burnout. We googled them both and here is what we found:
The difference between stress and burnout....
Burnout may be the result of unrelenting stress, but it isn’t the same as too much stress. Stress, by and large, involves too much: too many pressures that demand too much of you physically and psychologically. Stressed people can still imagine, though, that if they can just get everything under control, they’ll feel better.
Burnout, on the other hand, is about not enough. Being burned out means feeling empty, devoid of motivation, and beyond caring. People experiencing burnout often don’t see any hope of positive change in their situations. If excessive stress is like drowning in responsibilities, burnout is being all dried up.
It is a humbling thing to admit that I felt all dried up.... and it was frustrating as well.... I have never experienced that feeling before - I likened it more to having my head constantly in a fog - I lacked clarity. The tipping point for me came last week when I flew to California to be with my Dad for the "six month" mark of my moms passing. We needed to clean through closets and purses and begin to move forward. I never expected the experience to hit me so hard. It was almost more than I could handle - My fog grew and I really did not know what to do to change my situation. Those of you who know me will not be surprised that I even wrote plans to "snap out of it" but to no avail..... But all along I was keeping most everything inside until this past Friday night.
A friend asked me out to coffee and as she patiently listened I shared all that I was feeling. And she responded with wisdom and discernment and as I spoke with her I shared my frustration that I felt I was falling short in every area important to God..... she encouraged me and as we spoke I began to feel more clear. On the way home I prayed and it was as if God touched me and the cloud that had loomed was lifted in an instant. I felt like ME again and I was so filled with the joy of the Lord. It was my own personal miracle.... It was Jesus reaching out to me in my point of great need. I lack the words to share with you how in awe I am feeling as I consider the Kings personal touch on my life.
Where does that leave us now? We still recognize a need to plan how we will deal with the stress that exists in ministering cross-culturally, in raising four small children, in handling the loss of loved ones. Our stress is real and it requires attention so that it can be used to glorify Jesus and point others to Him.
Just today the Lord has revealed a few incredible things to me.
1. First, as I am studying the book of Daniel, God was showing me how in the hour of greatest peril, when Daniel was to approach King Nebuchadnezzar about his dream and to request that he reconsider his command to kill all the wise men of Babylon...Daniel first went to his three dear friends, his prayer warriors and asked them to pray! They were praying for Daniel as Daniel proceeded. The question in the Bible study asks (I love this question) Picture the prayer meeting between Daniel, Hananiah, Misheal, and Azariah - Describe how you imagine it....
I picture the men on their knees - no distractions, no other concerns, seeking God, asking for his wisdom and mercy. I picture them praying passionately and with urgency! That kind of prayer excites me! The author goes on to ask, "Who prays for you in your urgent moments? Do you have prayer warriors?" Names began to pop in my head of the faithful friends who I know lift me and my family regularly in prayer - my dear friend Nicole who in spite of having 3 small kids- always seems to leave a comment on a post or send me an email to let me know she is praying, she is interested in my life, she cares. Or my friend Julie who sent me an email on Saturday morning telling me she was awoken in the middle of the night Friday (she is Northern Ireland and the time difference makes me smile as it corresponds with the timing of my feeling the doom cloud lift from around me) and that the Lord put her and my family on my heart and so she lay in bed praying for us. I could keep listing so many of you - Michelle, Jeni, Carol, Sue, my wonderful in-laws......
I am humbled that many of you are praying for us. I thank God for you. I praise Him for you.
2. Secondly, today on a podcast I heard a quote from Vince Lombardi, "Fatigue makes cowards of us all."
At this stage in my life that quote speaks to me! When we are exhausted and not getting proper rest we cannot effectively deal with all this world throws our way. We easily tire, we are not patient and our judgement is skewed. Have you ever seen an overly tired toddler? We call it breakdown time in our house - They just whine and they can fall apart into tears in a matter of nano-seconds. They just don't deal well. The same thing happens with us - we just don't express it in the same way. I have realized that I am desperate for time away with God and with my family - away from all of the demands and expectations of missionary life.
So, we are praying about getting away for a few weeks - to catch our breaths, to clear our minds and to build up our strength. We have no definite plans yet but we are seeking God and waiting on Him to lead us.
3. Finally, I was directed to Ecclesiastes 8:1 that says, "Wisdom brightens a mans face and changes its hard appearances." In other words, time in the Word of God renews our mind and our face grows brighter every day with the reflection of God's glory. I can't seem to get enough of Jesus right now - I hope that this hunger for Him persists and never wanes! All else seems so worthless in comparison to Him!
Dear friend, do you feel the stress of life here on Earth? Are you feeling burned-out? Share with a friend - seek prayer warriors to lift you up and care for yourself with plenty of rest. Above all claim the promise of Jesus - that we who HOPE in Him will renew our strength!
I praise Jesus for His touch upon my life. He lifted my load in an instant and I am so grateful. What a wonderful, caring, merciful Savior we have.
I praise God for praying friends as well. Thank you for caring for us..... May the Lord Jesus richly bless you.