Proverbs 31

Ah yes, the "proverbial" Proverbs 31 woman! I know you are probably rolling your eyes thinking, "not her again!".... Little miss "excellent wife...worth more than jewels....blah, blah, blah...".... But don't stop reading! God is really teaching me so much about who He desires for me to be and how He would like me to spend my time as I have been studying and digging deeper and deeper into this Biblical description of a worthy woman. As always I get so excited about that which Jesus is teaching me that it naturally wants to flow out of me onto others - and so here I go..... (Although I will attempt to only share bits and pieces each day .... I anticipate this will be an ongoing topic for me for quite a while!)
My two HUGE nuggets that I am so enjoying living these past few weeks are these:
(Both are based off these verses: 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her....12 She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.)
1. Gods high calling upon my life is to live my life in such a way that my husband completely trusts in me and that I do him GOOD all the days of my life! That sounds really good but what in the world does that look like on a to-do list? Well, here are a few practical things that Jesus led me to do. First, (this is a nugget of wisdom from Elizabeth George in her Woman After Gods Own Heart book) I must continue to study my husband.... Yes! You read right I must be a diligent student of my husband... watching and learning his ways, his likes, his dislikes, what stresses him out, what relaxes him.... and then I must respond to what I learn.
Let me give you an example..... This morning I asked Christian how he slept. He said, "Not great - I was really hot." Well, as a student of my husband I noted immediately that I need to remove some of the covers from the bed so that he can sleep more comfortably. Christian did not ask me to remove covers but I am wanting to be ready to do him good - to be his helpmate and so I listen, observe and respond.
Lately my husband has been under a lot of stress and so I decided to sit down and make a "Needs Assessment" for Christian. I wrote out things that I believe he needs from me and from his home, from his days off, from his evenings - so that he can manage his work stress well and so that he can enjoy and rest in his time off! I was surprised to see things flow from my pen as the Lord brought to mind item after item that I could be doing to aid Christian in his daily life!
Dear friend - Does your husband have needs that you could be meeting?
This all ties in with my second golden nugget from this week:
2. Before I commit to ANYTHING I need to look at it in the light of "Will this help my husband? Will this bless my husband?" Again, an example from my life this week.... A friend calls and asks me if I could meet with her to counsel her. She is having marital problems and is seeking the Lord for solutions. My immediate thought in my head is "YES.... here I come to save the day......." but my disciplined, husband-focused approach was to stop and to ask, "will this bless my husband?" Well, meeting with her really doesn't effect him one way or the other but the fact that the only time she could meet with me was in the late afternoon when all of my kids are with me and I need to be cooking dinner made me consider the following scenarios: 1. She could come over but I would be shooing my kids away and probably not get to making dinner on time which would mean whining, cranky kids when Daddy gets home and a very rushed afternoon. (This definitely does not bless my husband - what blesses him is a peaceful, fun evening with a tasty dinner and quality time with content kids)
So I thought, number 2. I could ask Christian to come home early from work and watch the kids while I go meet with her - (this is placing my schedule above his, would mean he would have to work late from home at night- nope, this definitely does not bless my husband)
Etc, etc - You get the idea. There are so many wonderful things my friend that you and I could involve ourselves in, ministry opportunities, serving others, really good things - but they may not be the very best thing that we can be doing. Are there commitments you have, activities, friendships, hobbies, etc. that cause stress for your husband? Do your put your commitments and schedule before his? Perhaps God is calling you, as He has me, to put all things aside for a bit and focus on your top human priority! I promise that you will reap benefits beyond your imagination.
Remember (this is from Nancy Lee DeMoss) Frustration is the by-product of attempting to fulfill responsibilities God does not intend for us to carry. Freedom, joy, fruitfulness come from seeking to determine God's priorities for each season of life and then setting out to fulfill those priorities, in the power of His Spirit, realizing that He has provided the necessary time and ability to do everything that He has called us to do!
Christian commented to me this weekend that he has been passing through one of the most stressful work situations yet. But he said, our home is so peaceful that I have been able to walk through it all without feeling stressed out! Praise God! My 7 year old said last week, "Mom, our house is like a hotel, all clean and pretty and really fun!" Oh, what a blessing to hear that I am blessing my husband and my kids by staying focused and present on my top human priorities!
Indeed God blesses us richly when we stay focused on Him and when we are surrendered to His will for our daily life!