not in the sense that I won't be leaving the country to visit the states, etc... but I have decided to stop leaving mentally. Jesus has been speaking to me so intently these past few days and He has been so present, so close - and He has been teaching me.... so many wonderful things and He has been shedding light on the areas in my life I need to work on. One of those areas is that I must allow myself to be fully present in the moment so that I am most available to serve Him, to do His will. Don't get me wrong. I love our life in Mexico and I am honored to have the opportunity to serve Jesus as a missionary....but there are days when I day dream about returning to life in the states, there are moments of frustration when I think...if only I were in the states, and there are times when the going gets rough and I am ready to head to the airport and move back to Indiana. Now I know that Jesus has called us to Mexico right now, and I know that He makes NO mistakes, and so when I decide to dwell on life in the states or on the thoughts of returning to our familiar life in Indiana I am essentially telling Jesus He does not know what is best for me or my family, that He has made a mistake and that I can handle things better on my own. And....when I hold onto the fact that I can always leave and head back "home" to Indiana if life gets too hard in Mexico - I am preventing myself from having full access to the power of God - I am missing out on the amazing lessons He wants to teach me because I am creating for myself an escape route in case Gods way doesn't work out.....
I have decided that I will no longer talk about "when" we return to Indiana and to discipline myself to trust in Gods plan for today and yes, for tomorrow. I have decided that when homesickness sets in (as if often does every few months) that I will run to Jesus and not to daydreaming about home....I have decided to rest in the fact that Jesus is faithful and true - that He promises me that He has a plan for me... a plan to prosper me and not to harm me.
I want to experience the fullness of life and experience and lessons that Jesus has for me....
and at times we are put into situations that can seem uncomfortable or difficult. But those are the times when our character is sharpened, defined, and we are molded to be more like Him. Jesus is, after all, more concerned with our character than our comfort.
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2 comments:
Robin, how true it is what you have said. I think we all find ourselves wishing away something and looking for the greener pastures, only to find there are troubles in the "other side" too. I am praying God gives you contentment and the desire to have your heart fully excited about living in Mexico.
Hi, Robin. I've been on a similar journey, too... I've missed terribly the ministry I did in Africa. The Lord showed me over the Christmas holiday a similar truth to what He's shown you. Just last week, I got a call from Mary asking me to join her in Uganda and Kenya this July. It's as if He's bringing it full circle. What a blessing! What a gift! And He couldn't have done it if my heart wasn't in the right place. PTL!
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